1. Fancy Salmon -- It's moist and flaky, probably grilled rather than fried, and the only fancy meat I'd pay good money for at a restaurant.
2. Corned Beef Hash -- It looks like dog food but it's delicious. It's served best in a thin, crispy layer or inside of an omelet with cheddar cheese. Expect heartburn or worse.
3. Thanksgiving Turkey -- I have no idea how to cook one of these but they're good. Best served with mashed potatoes, gravy, and green beans. Leave the chunk of fatty meat out of the beans because it makes them taste nasty.
4. Sausage Gravy -- My grandma used to make a killer sausage gravy when I was a kid. It's one of those foods I can't eat without feeling like a fat kid.
5. Cream Chipped Beef -- Sausage gravy's equally delicious cousin. Stouffer's, son.
6. Chicken In a Can -- Open can, drain water into a bowl for your cat, pour chicken into whatever you're making. Works with mac and cheese, rice, soup, whatever. Big Lots has this stuff for like $2 a can. The lazy woman's meat.
7. Meatballs -- Best served on a sub and slathered in red sauce. The messier, the better.
8. Turkey Pepperoni -- Less fat than regular pepperoni, tastes the same. Ideal for sandwiches and, duh, pizza.
9. Chicken-fried Steak - It's obvious that I love me some white sauce, isn't it?
10. Fake Chicken Nuggets -- Not technically a meat. Probably better for you than McDonald's nuggets. Eight is the magic number of fake chicken nuggets to eat in a meal.
Bonus: Top Four Fast Food Meats
1. the McDonald's McSquare Fish sandwich
2. the Chick-fil-a sandwich with the little pickle on it
3. Arby's thin-sliced roast beef
4. anything dipped in Long John Silver's batter
Monday, January 20, 2014
Saturday, November 05, 2011
Higher Ed Link Dump
In no particular order...
remedial courses might be a waste of time
a bunch of digital humanities syllabi
there's an open online course that examines "the state of online education and where e-learning is heading"
the mysteries of the administrative structure
should teachers be allowed to hate blog about their students?
starting points in the digital humanities
digital humanities archive fever (lecture video)
expand your blog's reach
The American Literature Scholar in the Digital Age (book)
preparing grad students for careers outside of academia
admissions officers get lectured on their policies concerning low-income students
professor cats and num nums
Alex's intro to the digital liberal arts course site
Virginia Secretary of Education website
Academe as Meritocracy
The Prestige Racket
I get it already; freshmen can't write
rinky-dinky George Mason University and dirty Koch money
Federal Higher Ed Policy and the Profitable Nonprofits (policy analysis; pdf.....also funded by dirty Koch money?)
a list of open education resources
radical ebook archive (I actually cringe at reading this kind of thing but I bookmarked it and tried anyway)
The Natural End of Schooling
Don't Look to the Ivy League
defining the digital humanities (video; I actually really like this a lot)
The Five Page Paper and the History Degree
What's at Stake in the Georgia State Copyright Case
straight talk about grad school (be aware that this is older)
Miriam's post on what it's like to be a PhD student
2011 higher ed surveys
academic advising for sale
Hacking the Academy (book, sort of)
How To Read A Book In One Hour (part of Hacking the Academy; I thought this was interesting because I've been trying to get this information from phd students but they've been hush-hush about their methods)
Mark Sample's bizarro version of Hacking the Academy
"...the scholarly monograph isn’t dead; it is undead."
“all curriculum students will receive a CVCC branded Debit Mastercard”
"I'm too busy"
Our Universities: Why Are They Failing? (haven't actually read these books yet but most of them are on my radar)
Not exactly sure what it says about me that all of that was bookmarked on my computer...
remedial courses might be a waste of time
a bunch of digital humanities syllabi
there's an open online course that examines "the state of online education and where e-learning is heading"
the mysteries of the administrative structure
should teachers be allowed to hate blog about their students?
starting points in the digital humanities
digital humanities archive fever (lecture video)
expand your blog's reach
The American Literature Scholar in the Digital Age (book)
preparing grad students for careers outside of academia
admissions officers get lectured on their policies concerning low-income students
professor cats and num nums
Alex's intro to the digital liberal arts course site
Virginia Secretary of Education website
Academe as Meritocracy
The Prestige Racket
I get it already; freshmen can't write
rinky-dinky George Mason University and dirty Koch money
Federal Higher Ed Policy and the Profitable Nonprofits (policy analysis; pdf.....also funded by dirty Koch money?)
a list of open education resources
radical ebook archive (I actually cringe at reading this kind of thing but I bookmarked it and tried anyway)
The Natural End of Schooling
Don't Look to the Ivy League
defining the digital humanities (video; I actually really like this a lot)
The Five Page Paper and the History Degree
What's at Stake in the Georgia State Copyright Case
straight talk about grad school (be aware that this is older)
Miriam's post on what it's like to be a PhD student
2011 higher ed surveys
academic advising for sale
Hacking the Academy (book, sort of)
How To Read A Book In One Hour (part of Hacking the Academy; I thought this was interesting because I've been trying to get this information from phd students but they've been hush-hush about their methods)
Mark Sample's bizarro version of Hacking the Academy
"...the scholarly monograph isn’t dead; it is undead."
“all curriculum students will receive a CVCC branded Debit Mastercard”
"I'm too busy"
Our Universities: Why Are They Failing? (haven't actually read these books yet but most of them are on my radar)
Not exactly sure what it says about me that all of that was bookmarked on my computer...
Saturday, October 08, 2011
Realization
35 miles NW of Fredericksburg
45 miles NE of Charlottesville
63 miles SE of Winchester
70 miles SW of Washington, DC
Patron of all, belonging to none.
45 miles NE of Charlottesville
63 miles SE of Winchester
70 miles SW of Washington, DC
Patron of all, belonging to none.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Prince's When Doves Cry by Ginuwine
I recall Ginuwine's rendition of When Doves Cry to be fitting; smooth, sexy, and quite palatable. Yeah, well......what's this song on Spotify? Furthermore, what's all this I run into when I do a Google search or check Youtube? At first, I thought that maybe I had just grown older and the song sounded like crap to me now. Then I thought maybe I just imagined what it sounded like back then.
But no; that's not the case. I found an old mixed CD and it's there; sounding as awesome as ever.
Here is the version which permeates the internet.
And here is the totally sweet version I burned and uploaded from my mixed CD. (Hopefully Prince and Ginuwine won't mind me posting this seeing as how I couldn't find it anywhere.)
Enjoy.
But no; that's not the case. I found an old mixed CD and it's there; sounding as awesome as ever.
Here is the version which permeates the internet.
And here is the totally sweet version I burned and uploaded from my mixed CD. (Hopefully Prince and Ginuwine won't mind me posting this seeing as how I couldn't find it anywhere.)
Enjoy.
Sunday, September 04, 2011
The Summer of Divorce Court
Wow. This photograph was taken on July 28, 2004. That was seven years ago! It's really hard for me to believe that the Summer of Divorce Court was that long ago.
What was the Summer of Divorce Court? It was a magical time in the DC/Maryland area when young punk, ska, pop, and hardcore bands all covered a song by The AK's called Divorce Court. The song itself is a fantastic sing-along punk anthem with definitive Washington, DC flavor; it's about how the band would rather watch Divorce Court than see the Redskins suck. I'm not exactly sure who said it back then -- it may have been David "Spoonboy" Combs from The Max Levine Ensemble -- but it was proclaimed that everyone that plays that song is transformed into the AK's. No matter what house show I went to that summer, The AK's always played. There was always someone there to pick up the drum sticks and start shouting, "I love Divorce Court!"
The AK's played a reunion show last night at St. Stephen's Episcopal church in Columbia Heights and well, it was every bit as bittersweet and beautiful as it should have been; hot, sweaty, and full of all those sing-along punk anthems which I had nearly forgotten about. Like always, the magical part came at the end. The AK's played Divorce Court and then we all became the AK's. Instruments and equipment were being taken away as Spoonboy led a consecutive five rounds of Divorce Court. It was an absolutely silly thing but so gratifying that I never wanted it to end. Even when it did, the crowd started chanting, "IF YOU'RE NOT PUNISHED, YOU WILL BE PUNISHED" (another song) as they exited the building.
Anyhow, I'm thankful for the nostalgia opportunity.
If you've never heard Divorce Court, here is a version found on TMLE's website:
DIVORCE COURT
Long live the AK's!
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Dates and Death Threats
Three weeks ago, I decided I wanted to start dating. You know; go out with a guy for dinner, drinks, a show, or whatever to chit-chat and hopefully make a new friend to hang out with (and maybe more). Of course, I'm geographically removed from single folks my age that share a common culture so I've gotta use the internet.
Yeah. Wow. Forget notions of attractiveness or compatibility; I didn't realize this was going to a needle-in-the-haystack endeavor just to find someone that doesn't have a case of the crazies...
Date #1 seemed like a decent normal guy. Early 30s, educated, intelligent, stable job and living situation, into normal guy stuff, and pretty cute. We had drinks and made small talk though I felt incredibly self-conscious because he didn't have much to say and I tend to fill the void by babbling on about grad school and job-hunting. We ran into some of his friends which eased the self-consciousness; they were interesting, talkative people. At the end of the evening, we walked on the mall and this guy just....snapped. He quickly mumbled that he didn't ever walk this way and that we should turn around. He started acting crazy and when I questioned him, he was mean and told me nothing was wrong. He finally admitted that he saw his ex but by that time things were too awkward to mend. I wouldn't have had a problem if he had just said, "Hey, my ex is over there; let's just turn around." But this was a full on freak out; his whole body reacted. He started walking funny. I thought he might cry or fall down or do something else equally creepy-spontaneous. I told him he could call me again if he wanted but I wouldn't be calling him.
Date #2 takes the cake. This guy had all sorts of red flags on his OKCupid profile but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt because he was assertive enough to contact me and I was absolutely certain he'd be more talkative than the last guy. I meet this guy at his building in Arlington and when I offered to drive us in my car he says he'd go get his weed. I told him no; I already stated that I don't smoke in my emails to him and that I didn't want marijuana in my car.
We had a pleasant drive through the city and he babbled about a million different things, changing his mind frequently in order to agree with me. We had pie at a boutique shop in DC then went used book shopping at thrift stores. I bought a book then sat on a couch and read it while he browsed and talked on his phone for a ridiculously long time. I finally asked him if we could go and as he walked out of the store, I made a comment about him not buying anything and he told me that he'd just get the books that he wanted from the library.
We drove to a nice park in the city and put out a picnic blanket. As he went to sit down, books tumbled out of his pockets. He has stolen three books from the Salvation Army; two science fiction novels and a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book, each priced $1.47. I was beyond angry. I lectured him on stealing books from the fucking Salvation Army and he just looked at the ground and spoke softly telling me that he didn't steal them, that he would never do that, that he bought them when I wasn't looking, that he used his card to buy them, that he threw away his receipt, that he wasn't lying, etc. I brought up our conversation about him not buying anything and saying he would go to the library and he tried to convince me we didn't have that conversation, that we had that conversation at a different store, that he didn't know why he said that, etc. Then I railed on him for lying and he tried to change the subject by asking me to play a word game. I sat silent for a moment then told him that we were going to go back to the store so he could either return the books or pay for them. Still hanging his head and speaking softly, he said he was going to walk to the metro. He still maintained that he was innocent and never got mad at me for accusing him; instead he said, "At least let me carry the picnic blanket to your car for you. Why does this always happen to me? I hope you know I'm not crazy or schizophrenic or anything like that." I told him that I didn't think that; I just think he's a liar and a thief.
But I changed my mind; he's completely crazy. Two weeks later, he sent me this message:
I was dying for a chance to tell you this and, after building a whole hateful tirade up in my head, it all pretty much accumulated to this:
I've met a lot of people, and you're the dumbest fucking cunt of them all; even if you were hot at *all*, it would not justify the injustice of your existence. And I hope you know I saved your life, by not going with you to your car, because I restrained myself very, very, very hard to not beat the ever-living shit out of you.
Date #3 never actually happened. The guy sent me a string of emails from his smartphone saying he was at a bar a few blocks away but couldn't find the spot I asked him to meet me. He claimed to have walked up and down the mall four times after I gave him directions then decided he was too tired to be out and he'd just go home. Totally annoying bullshit.
If you've got any advice on how to meet men that are not completely batshit insane or just plain dumb, let me know. If you are a man that is not completely batshit insane or just plain dumb, well, give yourself a pat on the back. Then call me.
Yeah. Wow. Forget notions of attractiveness or compatibility; I didn't realize this was going to a needle-in-the-haystack endeavor just to find someone that doesn't have a case of the crazies...
Date #1 seemed like a decent normal guy. Early 30s, educated, intelligent, stable job and living situation, into normal guy stuff, and pretty cute. We had drinks and made small talk though I felt incredibly self-conscious because he didn't have much to say and I tend to fill the void by babbling on about grad school and job-hunting. We ran into some of his friends which eased the self-consciousness; they were interesting, talkative people. At the end of the evening, we walked on the mall and this guy just....snapped. He quickly mumbled that he didn't ever walk this way and that we should turn around. He started acting crazy and when I questioned him, he was mean and told me nothing was wrong. He finally admitted that he saw his ex but by that time things were too awkward to mend. I wouldn't have had a problem if he had just said, "Hey, my ex is over there; let's just turn around." But this was a full on freak out; his whole body reacted. He started walking funny. I thought he might cry or fall down or do something else equally creepy-spontaneous. I told him he could call me again if he wanted but I wouldn't be calling him.
Date #2 takes the cake. This guy had all sorts of red flags on his OKCupid profile but I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt because he was assertive enough to contact me and I was absolutely certain he'd be more talkative than the last guy. I meet this guy at his building in Arlington and when I offered to drive us in my car he says he'd go get his weed. I told him no; I already stated that I don't smoke in my emails to him and that I didn't want marijuana in my car.
We had a pleasant drive through the city and he babbled about a million different things, changing his mind frequently in order to agree with me. We had pie at a boutique shop in DC then went used book shopping at thrift stores. I bought a book then sat on a couch and read it while he browsed and talked on his phone for a ridiculously long time. I finally asked him if we could go and as he walked out of the store, I made a comment about him not buying anything and he told me that he'd just get the books that he wanted from the library.
We drove to a nice park in the city and put out a picnic blanket. As he went to sit down, books tumbled out of his pockets. He has stolen three books from the Salvation Army; two science fiction novels and a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book, each priced $1.47. I was beyond angry. I lectured him on stealing books from the fucking Salvation Army and he just looked at the ground and spoke softly telling me that he didn't steal them, that he would never do that, that he bought them when I wasn't looking, that he used his card to buy them, that he threw away his receipt, that he wasn't lying, etc. I brought up our conversation about him not buying anything and saying he would go to the library and he tried to convince me we didn't have that conversation, that we had that conversation at a different store, that he didn't know why he said that, etc. Then I railed on him for lying and he tried to change the subject by asking me to play a word game. I sat silent for a moment then told him that we were going to go back to the store so he could either return the books or pay for them. Still hanging his head and speaking softly, he said he was going to walk to the metro. He still maintained that he was innocent and never got mad at me for accusing him; instead he said, "At least let me carry the picnic blanket to your car for you. Why does this always happen to me? I hope you know I'm not crazy or schizophrenic or anything like that." I told him that I didn't think that; I just think he's a liar and a thief.
But I changed my mind; he's completely crazy. Two weeks later, he sent me this message:
I was dying for a chance to tell you this and, after building a whole hateful tirade up in my head, it all pretty much accumulated to this:
I've met a lot of people, and you're the dumbest fucking cunt of them all; even if you were hot at *all*, it would not justify the injustice of your existence. And I hope you know I saved your life, by not going with you to your car, because I restrained myself very, very, very hard to not beat the ever-living shit out of you.
Date #3 never actually happened. The guy sent me a string of emails from his smartphone saying he was at a bar a few blocks away but couldn't find the spot I asked him to meet me. He claimed to have walked up and down the mall four times after I gave him directions then decided he was too tired to be out and he'd just go home. Totally annoying bullshit.
If you've got any advice on how to meet men that are not completely batshit insane or just plain dumb, let me know. If you are a man that is not completely batshit insane or just plain dumb, well, give yourself a pat on the back. Then call me.
Monday, August 22, 2011
Buena Vista, VA
Beuna Vista, VA from behind the wheel
I used to threaten to run away to West Virginia to write a novel from the bits and pieces I know about the lives of rural, suburban, and urban people. No more; from now on, I am threatening to move to Buena Vista.
Seven Snakes On Saturday
I've seen snakes at work before but last week I flipped over a rock and found a Surprise Snake. It was pretty much the most exciting thing to happen to me all summer! (This is seriously what my life has come to.) I've been talking about this incident nonstop and suddenly it hit me; I dig snakes. They're just.......really freaking awesome. I mean, they're kind of scary and wiggly and they like hanging out on/under rocks. I'm totally down with that.
Last Saturday, I went walking at Natural Bridge and decided to document my day in snakes. Here they are:
Last Saturday, I went walking at Natural Bridge and decided to document my day in snakes. Here they are:
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